Error 404 - Not Found
We cannot seem to find what you were looking for... This has caused great shame for us and Totoro. Please click the furry fat man to return home. Or better yet, just continue to stare at him. Perhaps even imagine yourself riding into the sunset on the belly of your very own Totoro. Or don't, because I'm sure that involves some kind of copyright infringement with Ghibli Studios.
The best solution I can offer you is that you take haste and immediately mount your Great Purple Dragon of Moderate Enchantment and Shamefulness. Begin searching high and far for whatever it is that we managed to lose for you. Search from north to south. Leave no rock unturned and no meandering marmoset un-laughed at. Avoid the Russians as they generally have a strong defense against dragons, especially the weak and shameful variety you seem you have found yourself atop.
Once you've found this precious item of yours, keep it safe and close to your heart, as I am sure there are many a man and woman who would strike you down at the first chance just to gaze upon its forbidden secrets. However, if upon finding your item, you consider it too much of a burden for you alone to carry, perhaps you should consider enlisting a few of your friends. You could call yourselves an army, or even a milita. The Touchpuppet Milita For The Protection of Lost Items.
Unfortunately the formation of such a militia is sure to cause great unrest with the unkempt and flamboyantly disobedient powers that be, so it is advisable that you head South and hide yourselves amongst the mosquitoes and barbecue ribs. Purchase weapons and saddles for your collection of cowardly she-dragons. Take up arms against anyone who dares oogle your treasures of lost-itude. Fight the great righteous fight of the 21st century. Become the emperor of your land. Maybe have a cup of coffee or two. Just don't tell anyone we lost your shit.
